


Daylight Confessions

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, M/M, None - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 10:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/797589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim overhears something he misinterprets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daylight Confessions

## Daylight Confessions

#### by LilyK

Author's website: <http://almostpuresentinel.popullus.net>  
  
This story was originally published in Journey of the Senses II by Requiem Publications. Thanks to my betas!  
There be mush ahead.  
This story is a sequel to: 

* * *

Jim Ellison lay very still. His head pounded while his body ached in way too many places. Nausea tugged at his belly, so he kept his eyes closed, hoping that the sick feeling would soon pass. When he tried to use his hearing to establish his whereabouts, it sounded as if he were under water. Concentrating, he turned up his dials. Noises spiked before fading away. Words seemed to float by, but as quickly as he reached out to grab them, they skittered away. 

Smell seemed to be working on a limited basis, but the scents assailing his nose made him want to heave. Blood. Sweat. Fear. Everything mixed into a sweet, tangy, cloying, nasty stink. Hesitantly dialing back, he swallowed around a dry throat. 

Using his best sense, he forced himself to concentrate on his hearing, and for his efforts, he was rewarded with a renewed pounding at his temples. With a soft sigh, he made himself relax. Finally, he was pleased to hear the voice of his partner close by, the sound of which almost lulled him into a zone. He shook himself internally, trying to force his mind into alertness so that he could call to Blair. Blair would fix everything, he knew. Even with his minimal control, he was extremely pleased when the tones of the much-loved voice of his Guide tenderly spilled over his damaged senses. Another feeble try to clear his hearing failed, so he resigned himself to sporadic use for now. 

"...there's nothing you can do?" Blair's voice was tense. "Do not tell me... terminal! I don't want to hear..." 

"Shhh, Sandburg, you'll wake... He's going.... rough enough time of it as it... now how much..." 

"Damn... Simon, I don't... I refuse to accept... diagnosis!" 

"Blair, please..." 

Another voice entered the conversation. It was familiar, but right now, Jim's head ached too much to think. He couldn't quite place the voice, so he resumed his passive eavesdropping. 

That same voice continued, "...strides in the past few years, but for... afraid... just too late. I'm sorry too! ... internal damage..." 

"So am I!" Blair added emphatically. "This... be happening! ... together for years..." 

Then Simon's voice broke in, "...replacement... all ready to go..." 

Replacement? He was being replaced? Blair wasn't even letting the body get cold before he was asking Simon for a new partner? 

"I know... best you can, Jeff..." Blair said. 

The voice answered... "Blair," Jeff interjected, "...if it hadn't been for... never would have discovered... lost too many fluids... strong, well-built, but... too late to save..." 

Finally realizing he was in a hospital, Jim sucked in a shaky breath. Jeff? Oh, right. Jeff Roberts. Doctor Jeffrey Roberts to be exact, Jim's personal physician and one of the few people who knew the full extent of his Sentinel abilities. But just who was - terminal? And why was Blair so upset? Jim thought for a brief moment before he realized exactly who was dying. He was! Apparently, because he'd been brought into the ER, he must have been given some tests, and now Blair, Simon and Dr. Roberts were discussing his imminent demise. 

"...I will. Within the next forty-eight... I promise! Geez, Simon, he's important to me..." Blair voice faded in and out. "...too damned expensive to waste so much..." 

Jim sighed with frustration. Damn it to hell! He needed to hear this! He wasn't worth the expense? Blair was willing to let him die because of money? 

"Blair!" Jim called hoarsely. 

"Shhh," Blair said. "He's waking up! I said I'd...!" 

Jim forced heavy lids open and when he blinked away the fuzz, his partner's concerned face hovered in his line of vision. 

"Hey, man," Blair said softly, "how are you feeling?" 

Finally, his hearing seemed to be working properly. He glared at Blair. "Awful," he groused before he snapped, "How do you think I'm feeling?" 

Blair smiled, rubbing his hand on Jim's arm. "It's okay, Jim. Just take it easy. I'm right here." 

"What happened?" Jim demanded, tensing when Blair's hand touched his arm. "Why am I here?" 

"Don't you remember?" 

"If I remembered, would I be asking?" Jim growled. 

"Hey, don't kill the messenger, okay?" 

"That's not -" Jim clamped his lips together. He's almost said, that's not a nice thing to say to a dying man, but changing his mind, his eyes narrowed. "When can I get out of here?" 

"Tomorrow, Jeff says," Blair informed him. "They want to keep an eye on you tonight because of the concussion." 

"No," Jim said sharply. "I'm going home." 

Dr. Roberts stepped forward. "Jim?" 

Jim's gaze landed on his physician. "What?" 

"You seem a bit - upset. Why don't we get you into a room and let you rest." 

"I want to go home," Jim ground out. "Now." 

"I don't recommend that right now, Jim," Roberts said. 

"Why not?" he demanded, giving the physician the opening with which to inform him of the facts regarding his terminal illness. 

Instead of doing what Jim had hoped, Roberts glanced at Blair before shrugging. "Okay, Jim. Blair tells me he'll be responsible for you, so you can go. I'll give the nurse who checks you out a set of instructions. You listen to Blair. All right?" 

"Fine," Jim said, crossing his arms across his chest. It was worse than he thought. If Roberts was willing to cut him loose this quickly without any more testing, then he must have weeks, maybe only days left. When Roberts gave Jim a friendly pat on the arm, he ignored the man until he finally left before he turned to Blair. "Where's Simon?" 

"He had to leave. He said for me to tell you to take it easy. He knows what you're like when you're hurting." 

"Coward," Jim muttered. 

Blair raised an eyebrow. "Jim, are you okay? You're sure acting strange. Maybe you should stay-" 

"No!" 

"Geez, man. Okay. Back off and let me get your clothes." 

Jim nodded, gingerly sitting up. He touched his bandaged head before he looked at the small bandage on his arm. "Did they take blood?" 

Blair squinted at the adhesive patch and shrugged. "Must have. They did the usual things. You know doctors." 

Jim's eyes narrowed. "Anything I should know?" 

"About...? Here. Shoes, shirt, jacket." Jim yanked the items from Blair's hands, making Blair once again look questioningly at him. "Do you want me to help you?" 

"No," Jim answered tersely. "About tests or - whatever?" 

With a confused look, Blair said, "No, nothing. How about I go and make sure the forms are ready so you won't have to wait to get out of here?" 

Nodding, Jim gingerly rose and started to dress. He was sure he saw Blair's quick tap dance when he asked about the tests. Grinding his teeth together, he waved a hand at Blair, wordlessly telling him to get lost. He ignored his partner's small sigh and bit his lower lip. They were obviously not going to tell him important information regarding his own body. His anger flared. Jim dressed slowly, his body aching, waiting for his so-called partner's return. 

Finally, Blair's head popped back in. "You ready?" 

"Yeah," Jim said shortly, following his partner out of the room and to the nurses' station. He signed the forms without another word, before marching out of the hospital with as much dignity as his pounding head allowed. When Blair led him over to a neutral-colored Ford Escort, Jim froze. 

"Where's Sweetheart?" 

Blair calmly turned to him and said, "At the police garage. You're in no condition to drive anyway." 

"Oh. Okay." Opening his own door, Jim climbed into the compact car, groaning softly. 

"Sore?" 

"I'm fine," Jim said curtly. 

Blair rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can tell." Wordlessly, he drove his Sentinel home. 

* * *

Exasperated, Blair stood with his hands on his hips. "James Ellison, it's been three days since you'd been hurt. Now I understand you are out of sorts, but I want to know exactly why you're being so damned belligerent!" 

Jim crossed his arms and sat on the sofa, the picture of righteous indignation. "I'm fine." 

Blair's eyes widened. "You're fine? Jim, you are not fine!" He paced in agitation. "Now you talk to me!" Jaw muscle twitching, Jim remained silent until Blair sat down on the coffee table and leaning forward, put a hand on his partner's knee. Looking into Jim's eyes with a hurt expression, he said softly, "I care about you so much. It hurts me to see you this upset, and I want to help. Please, Jim, talk to me." 

Jim's gaze met Blair's and his heart melted at the wide, blue eyes that looked at him with such trust and maybe even a bit of love. At least he hoped he saw some love there for him. He'd be happy for even the tiniest bit of love from Blair. Not meaning to be quite so affected by his partner's pleas, Jim felt himself start to give in and talk. Irritated at his lack of control, he blurted out, "Why haven't you told me the truth?" 

Blair sat up straight. "What?" he asked in a surprised tone. "What truth?" 

"I heard! I've given you three days to tell me... I trusted you!" 

Realization dawned in Blair's eyes, making Jim's anger burn even brighter. "Jim, man, I'm sorry. I wanted to spare you the aggravation for now!" 

"Spare me? I'm going to be history in a few days and you want to spare me? Not even give me the chance to - say..." Jim felt his throat close. He turned away from Blair's shocked look. 

"Jim?" Blair whispered. "History? What...?" Clearing his throat, he asked, "Exactly what are you talking about?" 

"You know what's I'm talking about!" Jim shouted. "I'm dying!" 

Blair's hand flew to his mouth. He pressed his fingers over it, shaking his head before he pleaded, "Jim, please -" 

"No. No, Sandburg. This time I get to say what I want to say! I've earned that right! Haven't I? Aren't you and I friends? Well, we used to be anyway!" he shouted. 

"We are friends! You know that! After what's we've been through together-" 

"Then let me say this while I still can!" Jim could feel his face turn red as his body shook. "Please, Sandburg." 

Nodding, Blair's hand reached out and touched Jim's knee. "Okay, Jim. Okay. Calm down and tell me what you want me to know. I'm listening. Please." 

"I heard! I know I'm dying. Don't!" Jim shouted, holding up a hand when he saw Blair start to protest. "I need to say this!" Looking into his partner's upset face, Jim swallowed. His heart ached, and his anger started to dissolve away when he saw the unhappiness in the blue eyes peering back at him. "There's something important I have to tell you. I know I've waited too long, and that it's too late, but there's something I want you to know. Something I can't keep inside any longer. I hope you don't - laugh." Jim's gaze slid away. "I'm going to say it right out because it's so - difficult to tell you at all!" Chancing a glance back at his partner's face, Jim saw the intense concentration etched there so he swallowed and said, "Blair - I love you." Then he clenched his jaw and crossed his arms over his chest, looking away. 

Blair was silent for a long minute before he asked quietly, "Jim... I - When -" 

"Don't worry about it, Sandburg. It's something I wanted you to know. Don't even ask me why now..." Jim sighed deeply. "It's true. I swear it. Down to my very soul. And more than I can say." Jim looked into his partner's shocked face and for some reason, he felt bold enough to continue. "I know you're too good a friend to make fun of me telling you this, but still, I'm - not sure it's the right thing to do." Blair was motionless and silent, his hand still touching Jim's knee. Jim reached out and took the warm hand into his and said in a low, solemn voice, "I'm sorry for everything I won't be able to give you. I would have told you eventually, and asked if you would even consider - loving me in return. I have lousy timing. I'll be - gone in a few weeks and you'll be alone. I'm sorry, Chief, but I love you so much!" 

Blair suddenly rose and before Jim could take another breath, he found himself with an armful of his Guide. "God, Jim!" Blair said before latching his mouth onto Jim's. 

Jim was startled for a brief second before he wrapped his arms around Blair and happily returned the kiss. They kissed ardently and noisily for many minutes. 

"Chief!" Jim said breathlessly, pulling away. "I want you so badly, but..." He gave a sad shrug, running his fingers down the side of Blair's face. "I won't ask you -" 

"Jim, shut up," Blair ordered before once again kissing Jim breathless. 

Together, they tumbled over. Blair crawled on top of Jim and wrapped his arms around Jim's neck. He laid a trail of kisses over his partner's face, whispering as he went, "Jim... You're... not... God, Jim! Why...?" 

"Blair?" Jim asked, holding his hands against the sides of Blair's face and kissing him even as Blair continued to speak. 

"Jim, why do... you think you're... dying?" Blair asked before returning to nibble on Jim's neck. 

"Jeez, Blair!" Jim gasped when Blair's teeth nipped his skin. "Shit!" He moaned softly. "I heard you talking to... Jeff and Simon. Is this what I'm going to be missing? Your lips? Your tongue?" He pressed Blair's mouth to his, swiping his tongue against the moist lips, begging entrance. When Blair's lips parted, Jim delved in. "Mmmm," he murmured, finally releasing his lover. "I heard..." 

"Jim?" Blair nuzzled the side of Jim's neck before licking the shell of his ear. His teeth tugged on the earlobe gently before his tongue explored the interior. "What did you hear?" 

"Blair! Damn it, Chief! I heard you... And Jeff... and Simon..." Jim ran his hands down Blair's back. When his hands reached the waistband of the jeans, he tugged out the shirt and ghosted his hands over Blair's skin. "You feel so good! It's just not fair!" 

"What did -" 

Before Blair could finish his question, Jim claimed his mouth once again while raking gentle nails down the warm exposed skin. Once again, they kissed passionately for many long minutes before the need for air forced them apart. 

"What?" Jim asked, struggling to catch his breath. He looked into the loving face of his Guide. 

"You said you heard..." Blair traced Jim's reddened lips with a finger before tapping it against his lips. Jim opened his mouth and sucked the finger in, running his tongue along the skin. "Jim!" Blair cried. 

Suggestively sucking the digit, Jim kept up his ministrations until a bead of sweat rolled down Blair's forehead and cheek. He released Blair's finger with a slurp to lick the tiny droplet away. "You taste wonderful. I'll miss you so damned much!" 

Blair moved back to look down into Jim's eyes. "Wait. Wait. We need to talk." 

"No time. We can't waste a single minute of the time I have left." He started to wrap his arms around Blair's shoulders. 

"Jim, man. Stop!" 

Jim's hands froze mid-air. "What's wrong?" 

Blair put both hands on Jim's chest and levered himself into a sitting position on his lover's thighs. "Jim, I don't know what the hell... Oh, shit! You heard the three of us talking? At the hospital?" 

"Yes," Jim said softly, nodding. All of his anger was gone, replaced by intense longing for what he could never have. With a sad sigh, he said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, but Blair! Why didn't you tell me? I have a right to know, to plan -" 

Blair's fingers pressed against Jim's lips. "Jim, listen to me. Simon, Jeff and I weren't talking about you!" 

Jim raised an eyebrow. When Blair's fingers moved to stroke his cheek, he asked, "What? I heard you! You said - I was terminal! I heard Jeff say..." Jim turned his face away from Blair's bright gaze. "It hurt when Simon offered you another partner, and when you said - I wasn't worth the cost -" 

"Jim, stop! Please look at me." When Jim finally did as bid, Blair smiled. "I'm sorry, man, but you're not terminal. You're not sick. You're not dying. You had a concussion, and I think that rattled your brain, so to speak. We weren't talking about you, we were talking about your truck. We knew how much you loved it, but we didn't think it was worth the cost to fix! That's the replacement Simon mentioned. Your truck! Not you!" 

"My truck?" Jim echoed stupidly. "Sweetheart?" 

Blair crossed his arms. "She's dead, Jim," he intoned in his best Doctor McCoy voice, making Jim groan. 

"No!" Jim glanced at Blair before he asked, "Really? I'm not dying?" 

"No, Jim, not today anyway. But if you don't stop eating Wonderburgers, well..." Blair held out his hands and shrugged. "You never know." 

"Smart ass," Jim grippd before he added, "My poor truck." 

"Ah, man, I know you're probably upset over the truck, but don't you think we have something important to discuss here other than that?" 

"Such as?" Jim asked innocently, tap dancing as fast as he could. "I don't understand." 

Blair's mouth dropped open. "You are such a liar!" 

Jim had the grace to blush. "Listen... About..." Waving a strong hand haphazardly, he shrugged. "Sorry about that. I shouldn't have put you on the spot." 

"Sorry? You're sorry! Well, I'm not!" Blair shouted, pressing both hands against Jim's chest. 

"You're not?" Jim asked hopefully. 

"No, damn it anyway! I'm not the least bit sorry and in fact..." Blair grabbed Jim's shirt and pulled him up, then he wiggled closer and wrapped his legs around Jim's waist. "Going to kiss you again," he warned before his lips melded with Jim's. 

Jim returned the kiss with equal passion. He reveled in the heat of their bodies, even through too many clothes, and in the taste of Blair's mouth. It was many minutes before he dragged his own mouth away, panting harshly. "God, Chief..." 

"Jim..." Blair's fingers ghosted over the side of Jim's head where six stitches marched in a jagged line. "I'm so glad you were okay. When I heard that the truck rolled three times... I can't lose you!" 

"Shh. I'm fine. It was an accident, just dumb luck. What are the chances that I'd blow a tire on a bad curve like that? With the road being slick from the rain and mud..." He shrugged. 

"I almost lost you. I don't know what I would have done. I guess I can't live without you, you big lug," Blair said affectionately before he dropped his head. 

Jim heard the accelerated heart rate. He lifted Blair's head with a finger under his chin. "Are you - okay with this? With us?" 

Blair's expressive eyes met his. "The question is are you okay with this? Me, I'm cool with a same sex relationship. I've never - gone all the way with a guy, but I've casually dated men before. You, however, are as virginally white as a brand new snowfall." 

"I'll have you know that I've had experience," Jim said in a huffy voice. At Blair's raised eyebrow, Jim gave a sheepish grin. "When I was six, Billy Stewart showed me his and I showed him mine." 

Blair broke into laughter. "Okay, okay. I stand corrected." He took Jim's hand. "Listen, man. I want you to know that I'd never keep anything as important as your life, your health, from you. The truck..." He shrugged. "I figured you'd be upset, and Jeff said you had a concussion. I didn't want to make things worse, so we agreed that I'd tell you after you rested a few days. I know what a hassle insurance companies and repair bills and stuff like that is. It wasn't to hide anything from you, only to take care of you. You know that, don't you?" 

Jim laced his fingers with Blair's. "Sorry I was such a prick the last few days. I thought... Well, I know you wouldn't hurt me, and I understood that you were trying to protect me, even when I thought I was dying. I just felt..." 

"Betrayed." 

"Yes. Just a bit." 

"Hey, I understand. We've had our problems in the past, but I want you to know that they're behind us now, at least as far as I'm concerned." Blair gave Jim a loving smile before he bounced a bit with excitement. "And this is just so cool! You and me. I like it." 

Jim rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Romeo." When Blair let out a bark of laughter, Jim grinned. "I like it too." 

"So..." 

"So?" 

Blair grinned. "Want to go car shopping in a few days when you're back in action?" 

Jim gave Blair a lecherous grin. "Back in action? I've got news for you, buddy boy, I'm going to be deep in action in about, oh, fifteen minutes." 

"Oh?" Blair asked with a hitch in his breath. "Think again, Speedy. You're on bed rest for another two days." 

"Bed rest? I can do that. Right after I take a shower." Jim waggled his eyebrows and pointedly glared down at Blair's crotch. 

Blair laughed. "Not that kind of bed rest! Besides, you'd better make it thirty minutes." 

"Why's that?" 

"It will take that long for both of us to shower." Blair gave Jim a warm smile and added, "Together." 

Jim smiled. "Good idea! Up and at 'em, Darwin." When Blair moved back, Jim rose and reached down to pull Blair to his feet. "I'm glad I told you." 

"Me, too. Goes to show that confession is good for the soul." 

"Especially if it leads to sex." 

"Jim! Who knew you were so - horny?" 

Shrugging and giving an innocent grin, Jim started to sing, "In my daylight confessions, when I tell all the world that I love you, in my daylight confessions, when I say all the things that I want to..." His voice trailed off as he made his way to the bathroom. 

With a laugh, Blair followed. "I love you, too, Jim." 

* * *

Midnight Confessions (of course!) 

\---Grass Roots--- 

In my midnight confessions  
When I tell all the world that I love you In my midnight confessions  
When I say all the things that I want to I love you 

* * *

End 

Daylight Confessions by LilyK: chakbalam@gmail.com  
Author and story notes above.

Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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